Repressed Emotions
by spootycup
Summary: Raph isn't feeling well and takes it out on Leo (a little too much)COMPLETE
1. Default Chapter

Just a little story I cooked up in my mind. Thought it seemed good a little angst for Leo and a little angst for us all. TURTLES NOT MINE!!!!

_He was practicing his Kata and was not aware of his surroundings. He was always trying to improve himself. Steady, patience, center yourself let it flow. He did it again and again until it was perfect._

"Geez Leo, give it a break already. I think you got it down, besides Splinter is at April's so you can't be the perfect son when he's not here." Said Raph _from the doorway._

"Leave me alone Raph, go back to doing whatever it is you do." Said Leo _as he started to do another Kata._

"Geez, you would think you would get tired of trying to be perfect. I for one am sick of it." Said Raph _as he came into the room and walked towards Leo_.

"Raph, if you're looking for a fight I'm not in the mood. Go out with Casey, go do whatever you do and Leave Me Alone!" said Leo again _as he still continued to do his Kata's._

"Master Splinter ain't here, so I think you can drop the act and say what you really want to say." Said Raph _as he walked right up to Leo and looked him in the eye._

"What is your problem Raphael? I don't want to fight you. If you have energy to spare do some Kata's or practice with your sais, but Leave Me Alone." Said Leo _as he turned his back on Raph and started the Kata over again. _

"Don't ignore me "Fearless Leader". Said Raph _as he pushed Leo around to face him_.

"Raphael I don't know why you are looking for a fight but it is starting to get annoying. Leave me alone please. Go to see Casey just leave, I don't want to fight you." Said Leo _as he pulled away from Raph._

"God, you are such a goody. A little fight ain't gonna do any harm. Just fight me Leo, come on I know you want to and with Splinter gone it is the perfect opportunity." Said _Raph as he took a fighting stance._

_Leo looked at his brother and noticed something different about him. His eyes were slightly glazed he looked sick._ "Raph, I think you need to lay down. You're not feeling so well. Come on I'll take you to your room." Said Leo.

"No, I want to settle this between us. I am tired of you always being the "Perfect One," the favorite. Well I am going to prove right here and now that you ain't so perfect you are not so great. Now fight me." Said Raph _as he drew out his Sais and attacked Leo. Leo jumped out of the way._

"Raph you're not yourself. You're sick, you need to stop and think about this and go lay down and get better." Said Leo _as he backed up towards the weapons display to grab his katanas. Raph continued his attack on Leo and Leo had to duck out of the way of his Sais. He then sprinted for his weapons and almost had them when Raph was on him. Leo knew that Raph didn't know what was going on, so he couldn't hurt him, but he had to at least defend himself_. "Raph, your not yourself. STOP this, think about what your doing." Said Leo _as he continued to stop the Sais from cutting into his throat._

"NO WAY, you had this coming for a long time. Always being perfect never lighting up on us, making me look bad. God I hate you. I hate that your perfect, I hate that you're loved best by Splinter, I hate that you think your perfect, but most of all I HATE YOU!" screamed Raph.

"Raph, you don't mean that. I'm your brother." Said Leo sadly.

"I DON'T NEED YOU. I have 2 other brothers. I DON'T WANT YOU!!" said Raph as _he pushed himself off of Leo and stood his guard. Leo got up off the mat and stood up cautiously. _

"Raph, you're sick, we need to get you to bed. Said Leo.

"I'm fine Leo, better then I have ever been. It's time someone took you down a notch." Said Raph _and he attacked. Leo barely had time to defend. Swords and Sais clashed. Raph took a swipe and Leo didn't move fast enough and got cut on the arm. It was a deep cut and it started to bleed heavily. _

"Raph, stop this. Someone is really going to get hurt." Said Leo _as he looked down at his bleeding arm._

"That's the point bro. I'm going to show everyone who should be the leader." Said Raph _and he attacked again. Raph jumped and kicked Leo in the head. Leo went down stunned. He really didn't think Raph was going to hurt him, but now he wasn't so sure. Did Raph hate him this much that he would make Leo bleed. Leo had to cool this down quick._

"RAPHAEL ENOUGH!" screamed Leo _in his best Splinter voice he could use with him bleeding and hurting._

"What?" said Raph confused? _Raph looked around expecting to see Splinter. That gave Leo enough time to take Raph down. Raph realizing it was a trap, swiped his sai and cut Leo along the plastron, making him bleed more, but Leo at least had him down on the mat and his weapons were gone. Leo realized this could get deadly and decided he needed help._

"DONNY, MIKEY, I NEED YOU GUYS IN THE DOJO NOW!" screamed out Leo _as he tried to hold his brother down. _

"I knew you were weak, you can't fight me by yourself." Said Raph _as he struggled to get out of Leo's grasp to finish what he started._

"Geez, Leo wake the dead why don't you..." Mikey stopped _and stared at Leo and Raph on the floor._ "Ok, what the shell just happened?"

"Mikey, help me keep him down." Said Leo.

"Sure, no problem bro, wow Leo your bleeding!" exclaimed _Mikey as he ran to Leo's side._ "What happened with Raph?"

"He's sick and attacked me. We need to cool him down. Where's Donnie?" asked Leo.

"If I tell you that he went out and didn't tell you would you get mad at me?" asked Mikey _as he tried to hold Raph down._

"No, I will not get mad. We have to cool Raph down Mikey and I thought Donnie would know how to do that. Because frankly I don't have the energy to keep him down." Said Leo faintly.

"Leo, dude you are losing a lot of blood. We have to take a look at you." Said Mikey.

"Leave him alone Mikey let him bleed that will prove who the better turtle is." Said Raph _from the ground._

"Raph, what the shell is wrong with you?" asked Mikey.

"Nothing, I just realized that a change of order is needed around here." Said Raph. "Mikey, you don't still want Leo as your leader do you? You know I'll be a better Leader, come on let me up, lets take Leo down, you can be my second."

"Raph, you need to cool it way down. Look at Leo. You hurt him bad." Said Mikey. "He needs help. Come on Raph you can see this, stop acting this way and act like a brother."

"Me act like a brother. What about Leo? All he does is boss us around, he never gives up, he's always so perfect, well it's time to change all that." Said Raph, _and he began to struggle even more. Leo couldn't hold him any more, his arm hurt and his plastron hurt too. He was getting dizzy being down on the ground like this, but he couldn't leave Mikey alone with Raph, what if Raph turned on him. Leo was about to tell Mikey that they had to find a way to knock Raph out, when he couldn't see anymore, everything was getting fuzzy and he collapsed to the floor with Mikey screaming his name..._


	2. HELPFUL HANDS

TURTLES NOT MINE!!!! Hey Darktiger2 you need to write more on your stories I am dying here!!!! Thanks for the review, I know this is a little different from my other stories but not much; it still is all about Leo....

"OH GOD, Leo can you hear me?" asked Mikey _while he still held down Raph_.

"Let me up." Said Raph _and he finally got himself away from Mikey_. "I guess our "Fearless Leader" couldn't take a little blood loss."

"Are you nuts? Look at him Raph he needs help. We have to help him." Said Mikey _as he knelt besides Leo and rolled him onto his back._

"No way, I'm finished with him. You can have fun taking care of him. I'm going to see Casey." Raph _took a step towards the door and swayed_. "Wow, I guess Leo knocked me around a little more then I thought."

"Raph, you are not going any where. Your sick, you need to go to your room and rest, but first I need you to help me with Leo." Said Mikey _as he turned pleading eyes on Raph._

"I told you that ain't happening. When Donnie gets home he can take care of that wimp with you, but not me, and I am not sick, see ya Mikey." Raph _again went to leave but this time dizziness over took him and he fell flat on his face, out cold._

"Great, just great." Said Mikey to himself. _Mikey knew Leo was the one in trouble. Raph might be sick, but Leo was losing too much blood._ "Ok, Leo I'm gonna get some things to stop the blood, don't go nowhere bro." _Mikey stepped over Raph and rushed out the Dojo towards the bathroom. He went through everything and found some gauze but that wasn't enough. He need a towel for Leo's plastron, he finally found one and rushed back to the Dojo._

_Leo was starting to move around a bit, but Raph was out, and Mikey was grateful. If Raph could do this to Leo, what was to stop him from doing it to someone else. _

"Easy, Leo you're gonna be fine. I'm gonna wrap up your arm, and I'm gonna try to stop the bleeding of your plastron, until Donnie gets back." Said _Mikey as he began to bandage Leo's arm. Leo moaned in pain, but didn't wake up_. "God, bro, you should of called sooner I can't believe Raph did this to you."

_**15 minuets later...**_

"God where the shell is Donnie, your still bleeding Leo, I know you will probably need stitches, I can't do it. I am going to kick Donnie's shell when I see him." Said Mikey _as he looked at Leo concerned. Just then he heard the lair door open_. "It's about time. DONNIE!!!!" screamed Mikey.

"MIKEY? THAT YOU? WHERE THE SHELL ARE YOU?" yelled back Donnie.

"IN THE DOJO GET IN HERE NOW WE HAVE TROUBLE." Said Mikey.

"What kind of trouble what's... Oh shell." Said Donnie _as he went to check on Raph_. "He's burning up with fever. What the shell happened. What's wrong with Leo?" _Donnie went over to Leo_. "How the shell did this happen?"

"Raph went nuts. He was attacking Leo, and he cut him bad. Donnie I can't stop the bleeding you have to stitch him up." Said Mikey.

"Ok, ok we have to think. Run a cold bath for Raph, we need to get his fever down, I'll take Leo to the lab and get him stitched up." Said Donnie, _as he checked over Leo one more time then tried to sit him up_. "Ok new plan, we get Leo in the lab together then you go and run the bath." _Donnie and Mikey picked Leo up and carried him to the lab_. "Ok, Mikey go run the bath, I'll take care of Leo. I might need you in a bit."

"Ok, Donnie. Will Leo be ok?" asked Mikey. "It was scary seeing Raph like that he wanted us to gang up on Leo and have himself as the leader."

"Raph has a high fever a really high one by what I could tell. He probably won't remember what he said, or did." Said Donnie _as he began to take off the bandages._

"Yeah, he might not but, I'm sure Leo will and you know how Leo takes things." Said Mikey _as he went to start the bath._

"Yeah, I know how Leo is." Said Donnie _to himself_.

_Mikey went to go get Raph into the bath. _"Raph, I'm gonna get you up and we are going to take a nice cold bath." _Mikey turned Raph over and realized Raph's eyes were open. _"Hey bro, you ok?"

"Mikey.... I...What...Sick..." _Raph couldn't form a full sentence and turned on his side and threw up. _

"Ok, not good. DONNIE!!" Mikey screamed.

"WHAT MIKEY?" screamed Donnie from his lab.

"RAPH IS THROWING UP!" said Mikey

'KEEP HIM ON HIS SIDE, IT'S THE FEVER, WHEN HE IS DONE, GET HIM IN THE BATH QUICK." Yelled Donnie.

"FINE, I am not cleaning that up bro." Said Mikey _to Raph who was still violently ill._ _Finally what seemed like forever Raph rolled back on his back and passed out. Mikey then sat Raph up and tried to get him up. _"Not working. DONNIE!!!"

"NOW WHAT?" asked a peeved turtle.

"CAN'T LIFT HIM BY MYSELF." Said Mikey.

"COMING! Don't go wondering off now Leo." Said Donnie _to a still Leo. Donnie ran to the Dojo, looked at the mess and said_, "I'm not cleaning that up."

"That's what I said. Well if you don't and I don't who will?" asked Mikey _as they both got Raph to his feet and took him to the bath. _

"I don't know, when Raph is up and around we'll make him do it." Said Donnie _as he had Mikey hold Raph's weight and he checked the bath._ "Ok, set him in there gently." _They put Raph in the bath, and waited. Donnie checked him a few times. The fever was still there, but slowly going down._ "That's a good sign, if his fever breaks soon, we can get him out of here and put him to bed."

"How's Leo?" asked Mikey _as he held Raph still in the water making sure he wouldn't drown._

"He lost a lot of blood, but I don't think he needs a transfusion. I sowed up his arm and plastron. I won't know until he wakes up, but I'm pretty sure he should be fine." Said Donnie_. Raph began to shiver uncontrollably and Donnie told Mikey to get him dried off and put to bed. _"I'm gonna give him some penicillin that should help fight whatever he has." _They took him to his room covered him up Donnie gave him a shot and they left him to rest._

_Back in the lab Leo was moving around. _"Oh, God I feel like I got run over by a bus." Said Leo out loud.

"Not a bus, just Raph." Said a voice.

"Donnie?" asked Leo _as he tried to sit up, but stopped when he couldn't move his arm with out it hurting or his chest feel like it was going to burst. _"What the shell happened to me?"

"Easy, Leo you need to rest. You got some nice cuts." Said Donnie

"What the shell is wrong with my arm, and chest." Asked a frightened Leo.

"They both got cut. It should be fine. Let me check you out." Said Donnie _as he picked up Leo's arm_. "Can you move your fingers?"

"I think so, how's that?" asked Leo

"Good, it's probably just sore, you won't be able to put too much pressure on your arm for awhile." Said Donnie.

"What the shell happened? How did I end up like this? I was in the dojo doing my katas and then next thing you know I wake up here. " said Leo.

"I'll tell you after you rest, you need to rest, and calm down. You should be fine, but sore for awhile." Said Donnie.

"Donnie, you know I hate to admit pain, but it hurts, it feels like my chest is going to explode and my arm feels weird." Said Leo

"I know Leo, you need to rest and it should feel a little better." Said Donnie. "I'm gonna give you something for the pain."

"NO! I can handle the pain. I just want to know what the shell is going on." Said Leo.

"Leo, you need to rest. Tomorrow, we'll talk, but right now rest." Said Donnie, _and before Leo knew it Donnie injected him with something_.

"WHAT THE SHELL?" said Leo.

"It will help you heal Leo. You need it, now rest we'll talk in the morning." Said Donnie gently.

"I told...no...drugs." But Leo was asleep.

"Oh, this is going to be fun." Said Donnie


	3. Remember

TURTLES NOT MINE!!!!! Remember I have no idea what I am going to write so just go with it. I hope it makes sense, a lot of it is not real and I have no idea if it can work so just read and enjoy don't over analyze (that's my big problem I usually do)...

"Oh, my aching head." Said Raph from his bed. "How the shell did I get in here. Where was I before?" _Raph sat up in his bed and everything went black for a second_. "Ok, not good." _He lay back down and tried to fight the blackness_. "Ok, I get it I'm sick. How the shell did I get sick?" _Raph turned onto his side and closed his eyes._

_**FLASH BACK...**_

"I HATE YOU!!"

"Raph your sick."

"I DON'T NEED YOU. I have 2 other brothers. I DON'T WANT YOU!!" "Leave him alone Mikey let him bleed that will prove who the better turtle is."

_**NOW...**_

Raph woke up gasping. "What the shell was that? Did I hurt Leo?" _Raph got up slowly he didn't get dizzy, that was a good sign. He sat up on his bed, staid still for a minuet then tried to stand up. He stood and swayed a little. _"This is stupid I am stronger then this." _He took a couple of clumsy steps and then walked normal. He opened his door and looked out. All was quiet. He checked Leo's room wanting to talk to him. Leo wasn't there. _"Maybe he's training. What the shell time is it?" _Raph continued on to the dojo. No Leo in there either. He then checked Mikey's room. Mikey was sound asleep curled up in a little ball with this teddy bear. Raph went to Donnie's room. Donnie was asleep at his desk not surprising, but that left Leo. Raph went to the living room, checking the couch. No Leo, he then heard a moan. It came from the lab. Raph walked quickly and quietly to the lab. He opened the lab door quietly and saw much to his surprise a bandaged Leo on the table. _"What the shell." Raph whispered.

"Oh, no stop, your sick, stop." Said Leo from the table. _It looked like Leo was having a bad dream. Raph walked up to him and lightly touched his uninjured arm. _

"Leo, can you hear me. Wake up your having a dream." Said Raph. _Leo still moaned and twisted on the table. _

"Raph you're not yourself. You're sick, you need to stop and think about this and go lay down and get better." Said Leo.

"Oh, God it wasn't a dream. I did this to Leo." Raph _backed away from Leo in shock_. "I couldn't do this. I couldn't. I would never...I..."

"Raph?" came a voice behind him.

"AHH!" screamed Raph, _which woke up Leo._

"What's going on? Is everyone ok?" asked _Leo as he tried to sit up, but stopped from the pain._

"Go back and rest Leo, we're fine, sorry to wake you." Said Donnie from the doorway. "Come outside Raph." _Raph was looking at Leo with shame and pain in his eyes._

"Raph, what's wrong? What happened?" asked a confused Leo.

"Um... Leo...I..." said Raph

"Later, Leo, you need to rest and I have to talk to Raph." Said Donnie _as he pulled Raph out the door and shut it behind them._

"Oh, God Donnie, I did that to Leo." Said Raph _as he slid down the wall outside the lab_.

"Raph, you didn't mean it. You were delirious, and right now Leo does not remember what happened." Said Donnie _as he sat next to Raph_.

"But, he will. He was having a dream Donnie, about what I did. I didn't remember either until I had a dream or flash back or whatever the hell it was. God Donnie how could I do this? Is he going to be ok?" asked Raph in desperation.

"I believe so. He's sore and his arm is going to need some therapy, but I believe it time he will be. Raph, if Leo remembers what happened, he'll know that it wasn't your fault." Said Donnie.

"Will he or will he believe that I did it because it really is how I feel." Said Raph miserably.

"What exactly happened Raph? All I know is what Mikey told me. Tell me what happened." Said Donnie.

_In the lab Leo could hear what Donnie and Raph were saying; he didn't want to hear it but he always had good hearing. "_So, it wasn't just a dream_." Leo thought. "_Raph really does hate me that much. I knew he was jealous, but to hate me? My brother hates me_." Leo continued to listen to Raph, but he really wasn't listening his brother hated him. Leo kept thinking about that over and over._

"I don't know all the details Donnie, I remember walking into the dojo, I was going to practice get some energy back, I felt tired. Then I saw Leo in there doing his Kata's over and over and it got me mad, like why does he do that, he always has to be perfect, and it just got me so mad. I wasn't thinking I just acted out. I don't hate Leo I don't. I hate the fact that I can never be like him. I can't try to be perfect I can't its not me and I know how disappointed Master Splinter is in me and then when I see how proud he is of Leo, it just kills me. I guess it just all came out. I don't hate him Donnie you got to believe me." Said Raph desperately.

"Raph, I know you don't hate him. You were not yourself. If Leo remembers he'll know that it wasn't you. You need to rest Raph, your not 100 yet, the worst is past, but its not over." Said Donnie _as he stood up and offered his hand to Raph. Raph took it gratefully and stood next to Donnie._

"I hope your right Donnie. I don't want Leo to hate me. I don't." said Raph.

"Let's see what will happen. There is no point in thinking about this now, until we know what's going on. Get to bed, rest. Tomorrow is another day." Said Donnie. _Raph and Donnie walked to their rooms. Raph stopped and turned to look back at the lab door_. "Don't hate me, Leo, I didn't mean it." Said Raph _as he turned and walked into his room. Donnie looked at Raph and smiled sadly, it was going to be a long couple of days..._


	4. Hateful Thoughts

TURTLES ARE NOT MINE!!!!

"_So, Raph hated him. That was fine. Who needed him? Sure they were great friends once, but that was a long time ago. He would just stay away from Raph. We wouldn't rise to his petty taunts no; we would be the better turtle. Sure Raph didn't realize he had attacked him, Leo could understand that. But, his true feelings were revealed. Well who needed him?" All these thoughts were going through Leo's mind. He couldn't get back to sleep he needed to get up needed to move to stop feeling like this. "Why does Raph hate me? I try my best for my brothers, my master, but yet nothing I do is right. NOTHING. Why? Why does he hate me?" Leo couldn't stand it he needed to get out of the lab out of the sewer he needed to run, to be free of his thoughts. Leo tried to sit up, but the pain was immense. "I CAN DO THIS, I AM STRONGER THEN THIS!" Leo tried again, and cried out in pain; his arm couldn't support his weight and the pain in his chest was intense. His arm gave out and he couldn't balance himself and fell on the floor with a loud crash._

_Donnie came running into the lab followed by Mikey and finally Raph. _

"Leo, my God don't move." Said Donnie _as he came to Leo's side_.

"Leave me along Donnie go back to bed." Panted Leo in pain.

"Leo? I'll help you back on the table." Said Donnie _as he put his hands under Leo's armpit to sit him up._

"NO! Leave me alone; I'll do this myself. Go back to bed all of you." Said Leo _from the floor._

"Come on bro, your in pain. Let us help you." Said Mikey as _he too came over_.

"No, leave me alone I can do this myself." Said Leo _not looking at any of his brothers_.

"Leo, that's bull let us help you." Said Raph _after he shook off the shock of seeing his brother on the floor. _

"Don't you touch me." Said Leo with malice. "Donnie, Mikey get away from me I can do this myself. _Donnie and Mikey pulled their hands away but didn't leave Leo's side. Leo tried to pull himself up to a sitting position, but with his arm useless he couldn't do it and he fell back down, if Donnie was not there to catch him he would of smacked his head hard against the floor. _"Just leave me alone, I can do this." Leo _grimaced from the pain, but refused the help._

"Stop being a hot head, Leo and let us help you." Said Raph.

"Oh your one to talk Raphael. I don't want help, just leave me alone all of you." Said Leo _without looking at Raph._

"Sorry, bro isn't happening you need our help." Said Mikey_ and he helped Leo to a sitting position._ "Ok, Leo I'm gonna help you stand."_ Mikey got behind Leo and helped him rise, Leo was out of breath quickly and you could tell he was in a lot of pain, every so slowly Mikey helped Leo rise. Finally he was standing with Mikey's help. Mikey set him next to the table so Leo was leaning against it. _

"Thanks, Mikey. Sorry about not wanting help, you know how I am." Said Leo.

"No problem bro, and yeah you are way too stubborn, like some other turtle I know." Said Mikey _with a grin. Leo just frowned at that comment_.

"Let me check your stitches, Leo." Said Donnie.

"Don, I'm fine I just wanted to get up. I didn't realize my arm couldn't support me." Said Leo _and Raph winced at that comment._

"Leo, why did you try to get up? You know you're hurt and yet you do something like this. You could of ripped apart your stitches, you could of hurt yourself more. I swear you are an awful patient." Said Donnie _while checking Leo over even though Leo didn't want it. _

_Raph was quiet after the comment about him being the one to talk. Leo was right he shouldn't talk. He shouldn't be_ _there at all. Leo shouldn't be in the lab hurt, but he was, and all because of Raph. _"I'm not needed, I'll go back to bed." Said Raph.

"Night, Raph." Said Donnie and Mikey. _Leo didn't say anything; he didn't even look at him. Raph noticed that Leo was avoiding looking at him, but he didn't say anything. When Leo wanted to talk he would. Raph decided it was best to give his brother space. _"Night guys, Leo." _Leo still didn't look at him so Raph just went back to his bed._

"Well Leo your stitches are fine. I told you your arm would be weak for a while. You need to rest. Tomorrow we can start therapy on it and hopefully get it back into shape. But you have to take it slow and easy." Said Donnie.

"I need some air Donnie, I can't stay here now. I feel...I just need some air." Said Leo with a sigh.

"Leo, dude you couldn't even get up on your own and you want some air. Not happening. There's no way you could get up to the surface. Besides you have plenty of air here." Mikey said _with a laugh and a look that said Leo was a complete idiot for not thinking of that._

"Thanks for stating the obvious Mikey." Said Leo. "But, I just...can I at least go to my room?"

"Yeah, lets walk you in there. Do not get up early tomorrow. There is no training and as for food, Mikey will bring you some. You should be in bed most of the day." Said Donnie.

"Don, there is NO way I can stay in bed all day. I'll go nuts." Said Leo in disbelief.

"Oh, you'll be fine. You can do some strength exercises for your arm, then you can catch up on your reading." Said Donnie with a smile.

"God, this is stupid." Said Leo _all three turtles made their way slowly towards Leo's room. Mikey and Donnie helped Leo into bed. _"Donnie, how long will it be until my arm is back to where it was?"

"I don't know Leo, I didn't think it was hurt this bad, but apparently a muscle was torn or something. It could take days or weeks or possibly months. I have no idea." Said Donnie.

"Well, I'm gonna hope for days." Said Leo, _as he tried to find a good position on his back, he never slept on his back and he couldn't sleep on his side without it hurting. _"God, I hate being in pain. But no more sneaky shots Donnie!"

"No, more shots, I don't think it would be a good idea anyway otherwise I would have. The pain should lessen as time goes on Leo. Just take it easy and try not to move too much to upset the stitches." Said Donnie_ as he went to the door_. "Sleep late Leo, I'm serious you need the rest."

"Fine, Night." Said Leo. _Donnie, left but Mikey was still there looking down at Leo with a thoughtful look on his face. _"What Mikey?"

"Leo, you know it wasn't Raph's fault right?" asked Mikey

"I don't want to talk about it Mike. Donnie's right I need to sleep." Said Leo _as he shut his eyes to shut out Mikey._

"Leo, he was sick, he didn't know what he was doing." Said Mikey _desperately has he went to sit by Leo's bedside._

"I don't want to talk about it Mike so DROP IT." Said a now agitated Leo.

"Raph is sorry. You have to know that. He didn't mean it." Said Mikey

"Is he Mikey? Is he? No, sure he didn't mean to cut me up, but he meant what he said. I know he did. I just didn't realize how much he hated me. Now I know and I will stay the hell out of his way. I want nothing to do with him. So don't go and try to make it right Mikey cause it ain't he HATES me do you understand? He actually HATES me; apparently he hated me for a while. Well you know what I don't know why he hates me but he does and I just don't care." Said Leo.

"Leo, he doesn't hate you. Sure Raph can be a pain, but he don't hate you. He says stuff he don't mean all the time." Said Mikey gently.

"Wrong, Mikey. You are not going to fix this, you can't and you know what maybe your not supposed to. Maybe this happened for a reason, maybe this happened to make me open my eyes and see that I'm not a good leader, that maybe Raph should be the leader. Good Leaders do not have their own brother's hating him. But I do, and you know what hurts the most Mikey? I don't hate him." Said Leo _as silent tears flowed down his face_.

"Leo. I'm sure Raph don't hate you. You're his big brother, our leader, he don't hate you." Said Mikey

"Mikey, just go to bed. I don't want to talk any more." Said a worn out Leo.

"Ok, but only because your tired, and you need to rest. We will continue to talk tomorrow." Said Mikey.

"Night, Mikey." Said Leo. _Mikey closed the door behind him and saw Raph standing by his doorway. _

"Raph?" asked Mikey.

"God, I screwed up bad Mikey." Said Raph _and he turned around and locked the world out._


	5. Donnie Listens

Thanks for all the reviews. I will try not to be so repetitive with the "Said." TURTLES ARE NOT MINE!!!!

_God he screwed up bad. Good news was Leo didn't hate him, bad news Leo knew Raph hated him. God, how could he of done this? Did he hate Leo so much that he wanted him dead? Leo will avoid him like the plague now. He needed to talk to Leo, to tell him he didn't really hate him, but did he? God he was stupid. Raph knew he should get up and start the day, but sometimes its better to just hide your head, and right now that's all he wanted to do. Splinter was supposed to be home this afternoon from his Sabbatical, and the look on Splinters face when he sees his son... God, life just sucks._ "Screw this!" _I'm no chicken, I really didn't know what I was doing so I shouldn't get in that much trouble, but Splinter will be disappointed in me, and his NUMBER 1 son will get all the sympathy and all the fatherly love and I'll get the disapproving look and the lectures. _"GOD I HATE HIM!" _No, no I don't what the shell? I got to stop thinking I need to get out of here. _

_Raph got up, put on his mask and pads, got his weapons and went out his door. He walked fast and away from his family that wanted to know what was going on and went out the lair door, never looking back. _

"Mikey go after him, see what is going on." Donnie said.

"No problem bro." Mikey _ran out the lair door to go after Raph. _

_Donnie went back to the kitchen and got some tea ready to bring to Leo. Leo was already up and trying to sit up, his arm wasn't as bad as yesterday, it still couldn't support him, but it didn't hurt as much either. Leo thought that was a good sign at least. _

"Let me help Leo." Donnie _came into the room and set the tea down on Leo's nightstand._

"My arm better get stronger soon. What happens when I need to well you know, how will I get up without help." Leo replied angrily.

"It will, we will start the training and you should be fine." Said Donnie _as he set Leo up._

"Did Raph say were he was going?" asked Leo.

"No, he just stormed out. You know how Raph is." Donnie stated.

"I thought I did, but I guess we can all be wrong." Leo said quietly.

"Leo, you have to realize that Raph didn't know what he was saying. He doesn't mean what he says more then half the time he says it. He gets mad and says stupid stuff, he was sick." Donnie explained.

"I know he didn't mean to cut me up. That was induced by the sickness, but Donnie what he said. That had to be in him for him to even say it. Donnie do you think I am an awful leader? Will you guys be happier with Raph and not me?" Leo looked _at Donnie with sad eyes._

"Leo, you're a great leader. You always think of us first and yourself second. You are great at plans you always get us out of trouble. I wouldn't change things for the world. You are a great leader and a great brother. Raph knows you are both, he is just a hot head, plus with him being sick he said some things that he didn't mean." Donnie replied.

"I don' t know Donnie. I really think he hates me and does believe that I am a crappy leader. I don't think someone can say such things so harshly and not mean them." Leo stated.

"Leo you need to talk to Raph. You guys need to straighten this out and I would do it before Splinter gets back. Mikey is going after Raph, he'll bring him home and then you guys talk." Donnie said.

"I don't want to talk to him. God Donnie you weren't there. He hates me he hates what I am, I knew Raph was jealous of me being the leader, and I just shrugged it off thinking he'd get over it. But you know what he hasn't he has just let it grow and grow until finally he snapped and he said what he feels. I can't change who I am. I try to fit in. I try to be better then you guys because this is all I have. Your smart, Mikey's funny, and Raph is misunderstood, but you all are accepted I have to be perfect I have to excel. You guys get to play to be a family, I get to be BIG BROTHER, LEADER, I don't get cut any slack, I'm supposed to be stronger to always be there always help. Donnie all I wanted was you guys to accept me for me." Leo _had more to say but didn't know where to begin._

"Leo we accept you we love you. Your our brother." Donnie said _with affection._

"Did you know I write? Did you know that I'm scared of snakes? Did you know that I always wanted to play hide and seek with you, but I couldn't because I had to watch over you guys and make sure you were alright?" asked Leo.

"No, Leo I didn't. But, you never showed us that. We just always thought you were being a stick in the mud, and just wanted to train, we didn't know." Donnie said sadly.

"Well, I wanted to be a kid, I wanted to play with my brothers but I couldn't I was older I had to protect you. That was my job my responsibility. I hate it, but at least I have something." Leo _sat on the bed with his eyes down and tears running down his face_. "I don't want Raph to hate me. I love him, I love all you guys, but I can't change what I am anymore then you guys can change what you are, and I'm afraid that Raph could never accept me as I am."

"Leo, you have to talk to Raph, tell him this. If you tell him this he will understand." Donnie exclaimed.

"Raphael only hears what he wants to hear. There's nothing to say to Raph. Donnie, I said what I said to you because I don't want you or Mikey to hate me, I at least need my other brothers to like me." Said Leo.

"Leo, we love you. You need to talk to Raph. Please Leo for me?" Donnie pleaded.

"I can't, I just can't. Donnie lets get on with the therapy. I want to use my arm, I don't want to depend on you guys or put you out." Leo said.

"Leo you could never put us out. Raph didn't mean what he said, you have to believe that he didn't mean it." Donnie's _eyes were bright with unshed tears_. "I don't want my family to fight I want us all to be happy, whole."

"Donnie, you are starting to sound like Mikey. There is not always a happy ending, not in real life. You have to take what comes and accept. Raph hates me I wish it were different I wish he could understand me, but I am not expecting it to happen. That's the difference between you and Mikey and Me and Raph. We know that reality sucks. You guys live in dreams. Sorry Donnie, Raph and me will always fight always disagree and apparently Raph will always hate me. I will accept it in time. But right now all I care about is getting my arm better. My plastron hurts when I move too much, but I'll cope. Now, lets get to training." Leo _had that big brother voice that couldn't be argued with_.

"Fine, if you want to be as stubborn as Raph go ahead, see if I care." But Donnie _did care. He hated seeing his brothers fight, he hated seeing Leo hurt. Mikey and he got along great. He wished it was the same for Leo and Raph, but Leo was right nothing would make Raph listen to reason, he was too stubborn more so then Leo._


	6. Mikey's wisdom

TURTLES NOT MINE!!!

"RAPH, WILL YOU PLEASE SLOW DOWN!!" shouted Mikey.

"NO ONE ASKED YOU TO FOLLOW ME MIKEY!" Raph exclaimed.

"WELL WE ARE WORRIED!" Mikey replied. _Raph finally stopped running and waited for Mike to catch up. _

"Why were you worried? I'm fine needed some air that's all." Said Raph.

"Well, lets see you were sick and then you go off without telling us where you were going. I think that gives us cause to worry bro." Mikey replied with a sigh.

"I don't need you to look after me. I wanted some air that's all I don't need my little brother running after me to hold my hand. Go back to Donnie and tell him I'm fine." Raph said angrily.

"Nope sorry, I have to bring you back so you can talk to Leo. You two have to talk bad." Mikey _grinned at Raph and put his hand on Raph's shoulder_.

"I don't want to talk to Leo right now. I'm not ready. I don't know what to say to him." Raph stated quietly.

"Well you can start with saying sorry. DUH!" Mikey giggled.

"This isn't a joke Mikey. I nearly killed Leo. And for what? Because I was mad because he was doing his Kata's a million times. I can't talk to him." Raph _pushed Mikey's hand off his shoulder and walked to the wall and sat down._ "I just need to be alone and think."

"Sorry bro, the last thing you need to do is be alone." Mikey _sat down next to Raph and waited._

"God Mikey! Why'd I do it? I mean yeah I was sick, but I hurt him I hurt him bad. If he didn't get me down who knows what I could of done. Do I hate Leo so much?" Raph _looked down at his hands and realized they were clenched into fists_. "You see just talking about him gets me so mad. He always has to be perfect he has to be the favorite. Nothing he does is wrong, teacher's pet."

"Raph, he's still Leo. Yeah he's mostly perfect and he's the favorite and the teacher's pet, but he is still our brother, still Leo." Said Mikey.

"Don't you see Mikey? I should have been the leader I should have been the favorite. I'm great at fighting, I'm strongest, I'm great at telling people what to do, but NO right off the bat Splinter liked Leo better. Splinter's pet, Splinter's star pupil, well I'm sick of Leo. He sticks his nose in my business, he bugs me, always has to know where I am or been. Well I hate it I hate not being trusted and you know what he don't trust me he doesn't even understand me!" Raph _got up and started pacing_. "He can't cut me slack he can't keep his big brother nose out of my business he always has to be perfect make me look like SHIT well I am tired of it. I am tired of always being looked down on."

"Raph, first you have to calm down. Look Leo looks after all of us. That's what the leader and the big brother in him tell him to do. He got us out of some tuff spots he also makes mistakes. Leo ain't that perfect, Leo has his faults and one of them is caring WAY too much about us. I think if you really look at Leo you will realize he is not always so perfect or sure of himself." Mikey said knowingly.

"Oh, really Mikey? When did you stop and take a look at Leo? You don't know anything you're so stuck on T.V. and comics I would be surprised if you know what day it is." accused Raph.

"That hurts, Raph. I pay more attention then you realize. You are just being stupid. You feel so sorry for yourself because you're not like Leo that in the process you hate him. You don't hate Leo you hate yourself. I think you should really look deep inside you because until you do all you will see is hatred!" Mikey _pushed himself up off the wall and walked away._

"WAIT, MIKEY PLEASE." Cried _Raph as he ran over to Mikey._

"WHAT!" Mikey screamed _but didn't turn around._

_Raph took a hold of Mikey's arm and turned him to face him. _"Mikey, I don't want you hating me. I'm sorry. I don't know what to say to Leo to make it better. I don't want Leo hurt or mad, but no matter what I say it won't change the fact that Leo thinks I hate him, and I don't know if I do or not. At times I just want to deck him, but other times I am so grateful he is around. I just don't know what to do."

"Talk to him Raph, please. If you talk to him and make him understand it might be better for both of you." Said Mikey.

"I don't know Mikey. What if Leo doesn't want to listen? You know how Leo gets."

"That's a laugh Raph your usually the one who don't listen" Mikey laughed.

"Shut it Mikey, I'm serious. I...I'm worried. What if Leo don't want to listen, what if he just doesn't care?" asked Raph. _Mikey realized that Raph was really worried so he quit being silly and looked at Raph._

"Leo cares too much, and you won't know until you talk to him. Maybe if you and Leo actually sat down and talked about what was bothering you it wouldn't of come to this. It's a crappy wake up call, but it is one. Talk to him Raph. Please?" Mikey _looked at Raph with innocent eyes and Raph couldn't deny his little brother anything._

"Fine, but I don't have to like it." Said Raph grumpily.


	7. That is Family

First I would like to thank all of you that took the time to write. I want you to know that I appreciate all the references to my word usages. I stink at writing correctly for example, where, were etc. It has been awhile since I have been in school that you forget things, so I apologize up front, but I thank you for catching it. Darktiger2 thanks for finishing Morning Surprise LOVED IT, now if you could please finish Snow Covered Memories I would really appreciate it, you left us hanging. TURTLES ARE NOT MINE!!!! ENJOY!!!!

_The walk back to the lair was the longest Raphael ever had. He was thinking about what he was going to say to Leo and couldn't come up with one Damn thing. He really was regretting coming home. "How do I let myself get into these things?" thought Raph._

"Are you ready Raph?" asked Mikey.

"NO, but do I have a choice?" Raph retorted.

"Not really, you need to make it better. We're family and family sticks together no matter what. So talk to Leo he'll understand." Mikey _opened the lair door and waited till Raph passed._

"Since when did you get so smart? Don't answer that." Raph joked _and smiled at Mikey._

"Good luck. I'll go make us some lunch." Mikey _left and went into the kitchen, while Raph went to search for Leo._

"I don't know Don, are you sure it will get better? I can hardly lift this thing." Leo _was talking to Donnie in his room sitting on his bed holding a can of "Soup" in his bandaged arm._

"Give it time, Leo. It will get stronger as long as you practice. Since when did _you hate to practice?" _asked Donnieas he took the can of soup from Leo's trembling arm.

"Since, it hurts like a son of a..." Leo _looked up from talking to Donnie as he sensed someone near his room. _

"Um Don, can you leave me and Leo alone for a second?" Raph said _from the door._

"Sure." Donnie_ got up and left. Raph walked in and closed the door behind Donnie, and sat down on Leo's bed. Leo looked at Raph cautiously. _

"Leo, I..." Raph _stumbled on his words_.

"Look, I have nothing to say to you Raph and I really don't want to hear what you have to say. I heard it already." Leo _looked away from Raph not wanting anything to do with him._

"Leo, you have to listen to me. I didn't know what I was saying I was..." Raph began, _but was interrupted by Leo._

"Bull! You knew exactly what you were saying. You may not of realized what you were DOING, but saying is different. You had those feelings in you for years. I can't help what I am Raphael, and I will not beg for you to like me. My honor denies me that Humility and I am grateful for it. I'm sorry, I'm sorry I can't be the brother you want, I'm sorry I can't be the leader you want. I am just me and I am sorry that is not good enough for you." Leo _couldn't look at Raph anymore he put his legs on the floor got up shakily and walked out of the room. Raph was too stunned to do anything but stare after Leo. _

"What the shell?" Raph _asked to no one and Raph ran out of the room after Leo. He didn't have to go far because Leo was out in the hallway, breathing heavily his back towards Raph. _"Leo, I... We need to talk please come back and lay down. I need to talk to you." Raph _looked at Leo's back and hoped that Leo would turn around._

"I can't Raph. I just can't I'm sorry, I don't want to do this now." Leo _walked away from Raph slowly and went towards the kitchen. Raph walked behind Leo trying to think of what to say. Finally he couldn't take it anymore. Leo would not walk away from him. Not when he had something important to say. Just as Leo was entering the kitchen Raph grabbed Leo by the shoulder and turned him around forcefully._

"You will not walk away from this you will stop and listen to me." Raph said angrily.

"I told you to leave me alone RAPHAEL. I AM NOT IN THE MOOD!!!" screamed Leo _and he turned around._

"I'll put you in the mood Leo." Raph threatened.

"WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO CUT ME UP AGAIN?" Leo _shouted and turned_. "I am sick of this. You can stop threatening me NOW. I am sick of you taking out everything on me. I am the hurt party here Raph. Not you! You are the one in the wrong. I did nothing. I never said I hated you." Leo whispered _the last part and turned his back on Raph not wanting him to see the tears in his eyes. _

"Leo...I..." Raph _tried to calm himself. Getting angry wasn't the answer. Leo was right he had no right to threaten him. Raph tried again_. "Leo, I'm sorry. I had no right to threaten you. I didn't come back here to fight. I came back to apologize. I don't hate you Leo. You're my brother and I could never hate you all the time, sometimes I do, but I don't hate you all the time. This ain't going well."

"Raph, listen. I know what you said. I know why you said it, and I know that it's true. You saying you don't hate me don't change the fact that deep down you really do." Leo turned _to face Raph with the tears still in his eyes_. "I never ever, hated you. I know you hated the fact that I became the leader and you didn't, but it is the only thing that I have. You at least get to have fun and get to be close to Donnie and Mikey. I get nothing. All I get is to be the leader. The one that everyone hates, everyone thinks is a stick in the mud, the one that gets to look out for them, and always is perfect. Well I hate it, but at the same time it is the only thing I know. I wanted you and me to be like before. Friends, brothers, but I know now it will never be, and for that I'm sorry, because I will not change who I am for you or anyone. I am happy that I have something that I am good at. And I AM DAMN GOOD at being the LEADER." Leo _turned back around and went into the kitchen. Mikey was there looking at Leo when he walked in._ "Is lunch ready Mikey?"

"Um, in a min. Leo." Mikey _turned back towards his stove and got busy checking the pizza._

"Ok, Leo now that you had your turn, it's my turn now." Raph _strolled in and sat down across from Leo at the table_. "Yes, I said I hated you and at the time I probably did. And I do at times hate you. You're so perfect, so great. Master Splinter sees only you. Only your greatness. The rest of us are left in the dark. Our perfect Leo our perfect Leader. Yes I get pissed at that, and yes I hate you for it. But I don't hate you. Leo I get angry. I say things I don't mean all the time and, I guess I hate myself more then you. I hate the fact that I can't be like you. I can't be perfect. But, at the same time I don't want to. I know it has to be hard to be the leader and I don't want that much responsibility. I guess what I am trying to say is I'm sorry. Sorry for saying I hate you when in fact its me I hate." Raph _looked down at his hands trying to think of something that would make Leo understand._

"I didn't know." _Was the only thing Leo said as he looked at Raph_.

"I didn't either, until a wise turtle talked to me." Raph _smiled at Mikey's back._

"I guess we both have our own problems." Said Leo.

"Yeah, I guess. So um we ok?" Raph _looked at Leo with concern._

"I don't know Raph. It's hard, lets give it some time, who knows maybe." Leo _looked at Raph and gave him a half smile. Raph looked back and smiled. Mikey looked at both his older brothers and thought_ "It will work." _and began setting the table. Donnie came in from his lab and sat down next to Leo, and handed him the soup can. Leo looked at Don with pleading eyes that clearly said_, "Do I have to?" Donnie _laughed and just smiled. Mikey set the pizza in the middle of the table and sat next to Raph. Mikey smiled at Raph and Raph smiled back. _

"DIG IN!" Mikey _yelled and began taking the pizza_.

"HEY, Leave some for us!" cried Raph _and he too began taking the pizza_.

"Hey you too Raph." Leo said _as he tried to get some pizza with only one arm._

"You also Leo," Donnie _yelled as he too scrambled for the pizza. All 4 turtles were so into eating, laughing and talking that no one noticed their Sensei come into the room. He took one look at his sons at the table chuckled to himself_ "This was family." _He thought and went into his room to meditate._

Well folks that is it. I think it ended really really well. I am happy with it. I hope you enjoyed it too. There will be no continues. It will take time but both turtles are on their way to healing. Thanks for all the kind words. I will write another one soon. It is already in the works.


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